"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb
As I start this journey over again (for the thousandth time!) this statement brought a little peace to my mind. How could anything worth fighting for be easy? It's not. I knew ((even if it's way in the back of my head)) that this wasn't going to be easy, but a part of me wakes up every morning and thinks "I wish there was a pill I could take to make it go away". I'm sure a lot of people feel this way and I think it's a reason so many people fail.
I realized last night that I have to change my relationship with food or I will NEVER succeed. I eat when I bored, tired, happy, sad, excited, or depressed. I rely on food to make me feel better and it does for a while and then I look at myself in the mirror and loathe myself. Food dependency is an addiction, much like addictions to anything else. You can not fix it over night and there will be short falls but you can overcome it. There are actually groups such as overeaters anonymous.
Many people feel that it's easy "just put down the fork and move away", I could say the same thing for any kind of drug addict "just put down the pipe and move away". It's not as easy as that. For me, food not only brings comfort but it literally calms me down. My name is Sarah and I'm an over eater.
I am working on ways to keep my mind and body busy instead of eating at night. Yesterday, I joined the site sparkpeople. It's a great site for weight loss. It's totally free and has lot's of tools to help you, my favorite is the nutrition counter. You input the food you ate and the amount you ate and it will come up with the totals for calories and whatnot. It will keep a running total of what you ate AND it tells you how much you have left. You're given ranges for your amounts. I am LOVING it! I hope my enthusiasm stays around. This could be really really great!
I need to get to work on my "to do" list I made for this deployment.. I know that will help!