Tuesday, February 15, 2011

facebook *edit*

 I deactivated my facebook for a while. I know this is going to make me sounds like a gigantic loser, and I don't really care. I don't have a lot of friends, almost all my friendships are solely online ones. I have 150 people on my friends list that I've never even met before, and yet I consider them some of my closest friends.

I spend way to much time on facebook, and I care way to much what people think of me. It hurts my feelings when my posts and pictures go ignored. It hurts my feelings to see people, who I thought were to busy to hang out with me, post about what a fun day they had with other friends. It hurts my feelings to be ignored by people I thought were my friends. I sat here and cried for a good 20 minutes this morning, for truly no reason other than I was feeling ignored.

I don't have a lot of friends in San Diego, like almost none. I sit at home and do nothing a lot of the time. I have a couple good friends, but none that I hang out with all the time. None that I can just call and be like, "hey let's go to the movies, or lunch, or bowling.. or whatever". I don't have that here, and it makes me crazy.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom and a wife, but my only outlet has been facebook and I think it's starting to contribute to depression. It makes me realize how pathetic my life really is.

So, I'm taking a break from it. I am going to step away and get my act together. I'll focus on my blog and my scentsy, goose, sailor man, and my life. When I do go back, I think I'll probably be deleting a bunch of people that I thought were good friends, who have done nothing but ignore me as of late.

Like I said, I know I sound like a pathetic loser - no need to remind me.

*edit* -
So I feel really lame about my earlier post. After talking to joey about it and having my good 'ol drama cry, I am coming back to facebook. But I am deleting a whole bunch of people. I am only keeping people who I interact with regularly. I think I must be getting ready for Aunt Flo because I'm feeling super emotional today. I just got all upset because I felt like I was being ignored by some "friends", although to be hon...est like 150 people on my list I've never even met - I consider them real friends.

I don't have a lot of friends here, and when I've tried to make an effort with some people here, they seem to always be too busy to hang out with me, and then post about how much fun they've had with other friends. This has been really hard on me - in general I don't feel like I have a hard time making friends, and it infuriates me to no end that I am having such a hard time here.

I sometimes feel like the loser girl following around the popular crowd, begging them to be my friend. "I'll do your math homework if you look at me in the hallway" kind of thing.

And there seems to be a lot of people who will say snide remarks.. and sometimes I don't know if they're talking about me or not and it frightens me I guess. Seriously, I'm just being super emotional today :(


9 comments:

Adrie K. said...

You are FAR from a "pathetic loser" and you do something most women can't handle. I give you props!

But I empathize with you 100%. The 'friends' I used to hang out with left and took off after my bf deployed and were too critical of it or lied to me and said they were "busy with school" when they were out and about in town...so now, all the support I recieve for it is strictly through online friends.

I Am a Marine's Girl said...

You're not pathetic. I have a total of like 2 friends here and they're not even "good". It's part of this life, I've learned that they take over EVERYTHING and it gets better. You'll make friends. It'll get better love

Navy Wifey Peters said...

I can totally relate to how you feel, so you're NOT a pathetic loser! I get annoyed when I see that my friends are hanging out and "forgot" to invite me. I also get annoyed when my posts and pics go ignored, but since I'm pregnant now, everyone wants to comment on my pics, so I'm feeling kinda loved right now. But I am mad that some of my long time friends still haven't congratulated me on my pregnancy, and I'm 3 months now... I LIVE on Facebook, especially when my husband is deployed. Maybe I need to take a break too..... Naw, people in the real world piss me off too much. At least on Facebook, you can delete the jerks. :-)

Photina said...

I'm sorry Sarah! You are FAR, FAR from pathetic! I am so bummed we didn't get to have more time living close to each other. I am still (not so secretly) hoping that Sailor Man gets orders to WA. :-)

Facehook can be so depressing sometimes. You never know if someone will comment or not even though you secretly hope they will. I hope after your hiatus that things are better. ((hugs))

Ailinh Harris said...

This is my first time hoppin on your blog, but just want to let you know that you are not pathetic or worthless. I totally feel the same sometimes every time I am on Facebook, so I understand. But I am sure you are not a loser in any way! Sending hugs your way!

Ruthykins said...

this post makes me want to look at my friends list and see how many people i actually know.

Jenny and James said...

Sarah I wish we lived closer to each other because we'd hang out all the time! I feel the same way. Just know that this girl thinks you're pretty great :) Love ya!!!

Beka said...

aawww I'm so sorry to hear that your feeling that way! :( If we lived closer I would hang out with you! I've felt that way too about silly facebook! Keep you're head up, you're awesome and loved!!! <3

Islandalli said...

It is hard to get to know people, but friendship goes two ways. How many people have you invited over for a playdate or to the park because my phone hasn't been ringing and I would LOVE to be your friend. Our girls play well together and I am happy to go and do stuff. Look up and around, don't wait to be called and a whole new world will open up.

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