The wonderfully amazing Christina, from Married to a Sailor: The Journey of a Navy Wife, agreed to do a guest post for me. It didn't work out for Sunday but as I am heading out of town today it works perfectly for today :) Please go check her out she's full of awesomeness!
"I miss you more!" is a common phrase between my husband and myself. But tonight, I sit here and ponder that though- the ability to "miss someone more". Is it possible?
Lately, I have wondered about it. And the more I think about it.. the more I really think about the saying "Missing someone is missing someone". What exactly qualifies a person to miss the other more?
I have been told by many that I don't miss my husband as much as they do theirs. Why? Because I handle deployment differently. Deployment isn't hard for me. Maybe I will face a challenge during this time- Like having to get the car fixed on my own.. But is that what makes deployment hard? Deployment didn't do anything to me or my car.. Deployment is the distance between me and my loved one. Deployment is a choice my husband made when he enlisted. So, of course I don't hold any hostility toward deployment, and I don't find the distance hard. Distance is a challenge and I like challenges- So, Is that saying I like deployment? Maaaaybe.
I like having to communicate differently with my husband. I LOVE emails. I love sending care packages and I LOVE not getting phone calls often so when I do.. I'm First kiss excited. Deployment isn't hard, Deployment is a new relationship with my husband.
Because I don't find deployment hard, and because I handle deployment very well, does that mean I don't miss my husband? No. It does not mean I don't miss my husband. I miss my husband more than anything. Does it mean I miss them any less, No! Just means I handle deployment and separation due to deployment far differently.
When my husband and I were separated for boot camp and a-school (9 months total), I missed my husband. I didn't miss him more at the end of it than I did in the beginning. The thing that changed was I grew more anxious to be with him. I missed him all the same. This deployment will be the same. Over a month into this deployment.. my "missing him" is no different. I just miss him.
Maybe when someone says they "Miss you more" it's "I miss more things about you". This I can see being true. As time passes, I find more things I "Miss" about my husband. Week 1 & 2.. I DIDN'T miss picking up his socks from the floor. More than a month- I wouldn't mind seeing his dirty, smelly socks everywhere.
I think "I miss you more" is more of a term of endearment. To show how you care for the other. It's like "I love you more". Really and truly.. who can be the judge on who loves who more and who misses who more?
I think it's just another competition. Whether we want to believe it or not, we are always competing... with ourselves, with our Significant others and others in similar situations as us. In the end, it's all the same. We miss each other the same- how you deal with it is the difference.