I don't know how to feel about this. I have been to that point myself. I have been to the point where it seems the only way out is death, to the point of "no return". I have blogged before about my depression and anxiety but I'm not all that comfortable talking about it in detail. It's hard to talk about. It's hard to admit it to people that you're human. And that is what you are -- human NOT weak. I can not stress this enough, it doesn't make you a weak person.
Military One Source is an excellent place to start. They offer you 12 FREE counseling sessions and then if you need more they will get you to the correct place, and tricare will usually cover it (just make sure you see someone who is a provider). You can call Military One Source at 1.800.342.9647. You can also call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) they are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week. And you can always call 911 if you need to. I am not a therapist or even certified, but if you ever need someone to just talk to, you can e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will always listen. Please don't wait until you hit the bottom to get the help you need, if you have feelings of depression call someone now. You can get it under control, you can come up from the bottom, you can survive.
"the night is always darkest just before the dawn"