Thursday, May 19, 2011

Offense

Last night I was in Old Town meeting with the new ships FRG. We ate at this super cool cafe and it was so delicious. While I was walking back to my car I walked passed an old chapel, it is apparently a landmark so there was a large sign out front. The sign made me laugh. Yes it did, immature? maybe. Human reaction? Yes. I wont apologize for having a human reaction. To clarify - I laughed at the name of the Chapel. Yes it was immature and disrespectful, but it was a reaction. I wasn't thinking about religion or anything like that when I walked past it. I was simply caught off guard by the name. Plain and simple, it was  human reaction and obviously a bad one. It caused me a friendship and I am so sorry for that. 



However, I apparently offended a friend of mine. She e-mailed me and asked if she could use the picture in a blog post, I said yes, knowing exactly what it was for. I responded to the blog with exactly how I felt. If she had had a problem with me, she should have come to me in private. I am more than willing to remove the picture (which I did), but I don't appreciate being called out like I was. It hurt my feelings, and what's worse -- she deleted me as a friend. She was someone I thought I was very close too, someone I've spent a lot of time with. It just goes to show you... you think you know somebody.

I've talked with some people about this and I can see from her side, but I don't know if she sees mine. I don't know much about any other religions, yes that is my fault as I have chosen NOT to educate myself on them, but to be called intolerant really hurt my feelings. I don't generally discuss religion for this reason. I am a Mormon. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. People make fun of me all the time, my reaction is to try to educate them as best I can.

I apologize if my posting this picture offended you. It was not my intent, but I will not apologize for having a human reaction to something that I think is funny.


in·tol·er·ance

–noun

1.lack of toleration; unwillingness or refusal to tolerate or respect contrary opinions or beliefs, persons of different races or backgrounds, etc.

 

It goes both ways my friend

14 comments:

Sarah said...

I'm confused and genuinely don't get it. What about that sign made you laugh? Maybe I'm missing the joke... I honestly don't get what's funny.

I'm sorry. :/

Amanda C. said...

1. what was so funny? i don't ask that to be rude, I think it just went over my head. haha. i understand about the immature yet human reactions. i LOVE learning about different religions and I often laugh at the crazy ways the bible is (I feel) misinterpreted.
2. why was she so offended? and I feel like the person(s) wasn't a very good friend in the first place so maybe you needed to get away from her, which I know hurts but it will hopefully be a lot better in the long run.
don't let meanies get you down!! :)

Jenny and James said...

Sorry Sarah. Honestly I would have laughed too for the same reason. It's just not a name you see for a church everyday, but for any person to act that way is not okay. I agree with you that if she had a problem with is she should have said something privately. Sorry, but I know you are a sweet and loving person and would never do anything to hurt someone else feelings or anything like that. Love ya!!

Hannah S. said...

I have read both blog posts. Mrs. S., I understand why you may have giggled at this sign. There is a church with a similar name, in a nearby city, that I drive by frequently. I have also giggled (often to myself, sometimes out loud) at the name of the church, but I never knew that it had such a sacred meaning to those that are of that particular faith. I like to learn about other religions and I have been educated (even if it was in a condescending manner) by the other blogger. I will never react that way again. Still, I cannot believe that she would cast you aside so quickly, and not even attempt to explain why it has such a significant meaning to her and why someone would take such offense to your reaction. Mrs. S., I am sorry for your loss of what you thought was a great friend, but please remember that you have friends that love and support you and are also much more tolerant of a simple human's reaction.

Anonymous said...

I think both parties are in the wrong. I read you both and love you both. There are obviously two sides to this story.

I do however think, between whatever happened over the course of the entire situation, if it offended her enough or upset her enough to delete you, maybe apologizing for the offense isn't enough- you need to really apologize for your reaction- human or not.

Hopefully you can work through it if she was at one time such a good friend of yours- she must be really hurting right now.

Keri Oke said...

The bigger person will soon seek forgivness and when that time comes thats when true feelings can be felt for the spirit of religion cant be felt in contention. good luck. Its life experiences like this that can enrich a friendship not distroy it, if its handle correctly. I mean take for instance marriage, its a relationship and yes there are time in a marriage where feelings get hurt, but its what you make of it and how you grow from that argument. Frienship is no expetion. "Friendship isn;t one BIg thing, it's a lot of little things" I believe in time it will all level out. thats how I look at it. No need to hold grudges its just satans Weapon to destroy our hearts. good luck, love ya girl. hang in there

kmelanese said...

To those that are wondering why it's funny....

Definition of immaculate-spotlessly clean

Spotlessly clean conception? It's just a weird name. I did not know that it meant anything. I had no idea laughing at this sign would offend anyone. That obviously was not anyone's intention.

Erin said...

Give me a break. Frankly, not worth a second thought. If she's not willing to look past that minute incident, it's not a friendship worth maintaining.

Ruthykins said...

i think the sign is funny. it's seems to be saying that is the chapel where something was conceived immaculately. it made me giggle, which is not something i would normally tell people. i do agree that she overreacted. i've had friends that bash our church and yet i'm still friends with them. did it hurt my feelings? sure. did they know they were being really insensitive? no, and that is what makes the difference. you weren't making fun of a religion. you were giggling at a sign.

Allie said...

I feel like our society lately people are so overly politically correct that it becoming an even bigger problem than it was before! I wouldn't find that insulting. Heck I am Catholic and people make fun of me for it all the time. I don't get insulted. I know the difference between a jibe and a true hurtful comment... some people don't. I am sorry you lost a friend over this.

AK said...

If you think that's funny, the local church had a sign that said "Happy Hour, Sundays at 11am" to advertise the service. I actually took a picture of it and sent it to my mom and a couple friends. :P

Sarah said...

@kmelanese, I definitely know what the definition of Immaculate was, but I still don't get why the blog owner found this funny. I really am not being rude, but I am also Catholic, so perhaps that's why I am not seeing the humor in the sign either. Although, I don't think I'd take the time to write a blog about how offended I was. I would probably just go ahead and feel safe to assume the blogger was uneducated on the faith, which she stated she was and leave it at that; a friend though, I would just take it as an opportunity to educate... I didn't read the other blog, or even have an idea of who the other blogger is so I can't really have much more comment than that.

Mrs. S said...

Sarah - The reason I laughed was the name of the Chapel. I thought it was a funny name for a chapel - NOT knowing anything about the Catholic faith in that it is a cornerstone of your faith. In the Mormon religion we learn about it, respect it, believe it, love it, but it is not a cornerstone of our faith. It's not something we focus on in our teachings. I truly had no idea it would cause this much trouble, and it was not my intention to offend anyone. My mom grew up Catholic and has since explained to me the situation.

Sarah said...

Thanks Mrs. S for the explanation. :) I don't fault you for making the mistake. You did not do so with malicious intent. I'm sorry your "friend" has taken the snafu so heart felt. Maybe she is the one who needs to lighten up. I really think a true friend would have taken the opportunity to teach you about the faith, instead of tossing you off to the side like an old piece of bread.

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