I have been in a serious case of bloggers block the last few weeks. I've thought of things to write about but they're either a little too personal, would create unnecessary drama, or they're boring topics. I feel less and less connected to the blogger community. I feel like friendships I've made through it are starting to slip away. I also feel like I have a lot less to talk about. I try to keep personal (or at least things that are too personal) off the blog, but I feel like I may be damning myself by doing that. Who knows. I think during deployment I will be more open to blogging and sharing, and after the baby is born I will be returning to my weight loss goals. I don't want my blog to be all meme based, but sometimes I know I wouldn't have anything to post.
Goose and I moved home to Nevada a couple of weeks ago. Sailor Man and I decided that since I am set to give birth while the ship is deployed, and the chances of him coming home are slim to none, it would be better for me to be around family that can take care of me than expecting family to come to us for a set amount of time. Truthfully, I like being home. I like being in a familiar place with friends and family, especially knowing Sailor Man will be gone. I love that Goose will be comforted by Grandpa on the days when she misses daddy the most. This is going to be a rough time in our lives. This is our first real deployment with the Navy. Sailor Man met the ship 1/2 way through the last deployment, so he was only gone about 3.5 months. This one will be from start to finish, and it's rough on a little girl.
Sometimes I wonder if we have a different perspective than other military families because we were married for 5 years before he joined, and Goose was 3. She had 3 years of daddy home every night, every weekend and every holiday. It's a huge adjustment, and she is still adjusting to it 2 years later. I wonder if you ever really get "used" to this lifestyle? I'm not complaining. I'm really not. This life has been good to us, we've had a lot of opportunities the last couple of years because of the Navy. Yes it is hard on us, and I hate when he leaves, but I'm really not complaining about it.
Sailor Man and Goose have a strong bond. They were able to bond a lot when she was a baby. Sailor Man was able to get up with her at night and spend one-on-one time with her. They have a great relationship, they have a deep love for each other.
Not only is this our first real deployment, but our second daughter will be born during this time. It's scary to me to do this without him. I'm worried about their bonding time, will he have the same relationship with this baby? I know, I have far to much time on my hands to be worried about that kind of stuff. But it is, what I think, a valid concern.
To be honest, I've known about the deployment for a long while, but as it gets closer I feel less and less prepared to say goodbye. I have tons of care packages all thought out and planned, I have idea's on pictures and letters I can send, and I have an idea about homecoming. Thinking about homecoming seems to make it easier. Is that silly?